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Jimmy Tingle with Johnny Carson, December 15th, 1988

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Transcript – Please note, this Transcript is AI Generated. It has not had the discerning ears of a real human to edit it, as such, there are bound to be a few errors

Johnny Carson 0:09
Okay, we are back via we have tonight a young comedian from Boston making his very first appearance on network television. He’s a little bit unusual in the field of young comedians because he deals in the political humor and social commentary. And in fact, he has an outmoded political humor is called strange bedfellows. Would you welcome, Jimmy tingle?

Jimmy Tingle 0:43
Thank you. Thank you very much. Nice to be here tonight. You know, folks, I read the papers. I try to keep up what’s going on in the world. But sometimes I honestly don’t know what to believe. Because I can’t believe some of the things that have been printed about me. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining about my reviews. I mean, I’ve had some very good reviews. I was compared to John Belushi and Variety magazine, John Belushi. Cape Cod time said reminds one of Jackie Gleason, Jackie Gleason. Boston Magazine recently wrote looks like Barney Rubble. Barney or wobble. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m wearing shoes. I’ve had some funny reviews. Totally natural looks like a good natured drunk at a party. Thank you. A stocky character from Boston, Massachusetts, with a beer gut and productive sweat glands. The pink face tingle worked hard, throwing his arms and shouting his punch lines. Crazy intelligent, excellent humor. I don’t know about you people. But when I think of intelligence, allowed sweaty man does not come to mind. And the pink face tingle sounds like a bird that escaped from the zoo. Children get into the house. But mother get into the house now. The pink face tingles out there. They’ll bite you. You’ll sweat and scream on television they get in the house. I was actually revealed as being a smug comic once smug, which means you think you’re better than other people. And obviously folks that that compare, you know, Barney Rubble, anybody’s head would swell. smartkarma coos act went over like the Hindenburg. The Hindenburg. Do you remember what the Hindenburg was folks? A blip that exploded. In 1937 85 people died. Okay, maybe I’m not a comic genius. But an aerial disaster. I don’t know if I can judge. You No. Believe what I read in the New York Times about Gorbachev or Arafat. I don’t know what to put on my own resume based on these reviews. What am I supposed to say? Yeah, Ron Jimmy tingle. I’m an extremely funny, loud, crazy, sweaty drunk pink man who thinks he’s better than other people just because I’m a cross between John Belushi, Jackie Gleason and a prehistoric cartoon character. And I have that rare and unique ability to levitate off of a stage hover over an audience explode.

I don’t know. You months ago folk, the post office raised the price of a stamp from 22 to 25 cents. Not a big thing really, when you consider what you get for 25 cents. But I’m watching the news and their interview with this guy and he’s complaining This is intolerable. What do they think they are raising the price of a stamp to a quarter and you watch the rest of the newscast and it’s like in South Africa, women and children will be whipped into submission today. The Middle East it’s in its seventh month of turmoil in Haiti, a man was killed on the way to the polls. In the United States, the price of a stamp went up a quarter. Guys in Afghanistan, oh do they live there? People would Oh Salvador. Is there no God. When you think about it, for 25 cents a man comes to a box in your neighborhood picks up your message and delivers it anywhere in the country for 25 cents. What’s the problem? What you want change? Tip the day three cents. I mean, you can’t pay an American kid for 25 cents to lick the stamp. I want a dental plan

I don’t know folks the priorities when did they lie? Con was recently voted against the proposal to have a seven day waiting period to buy a gun. The Fox, I don’t want to sound like a Quaker okay? But like it’s a week a long time to wait to see if Hinckley is qualified to own a gun. I’m an American. I pay my taxes. I’m in an argument. I want a gun. I want it now. Well, we’re sorry, sir. But you’re gonna have to wait at least a week for the gun a week. The guy will be gone in a week. Well, that’s the point. I mean, a seven day waiting period to buy a gun and Congress is against it, folks, it takes eight days to get a false

the war on drugs. Two years ago, the President said we’re gonna have a war on drugs in this country. Then he cut funding for the Coast Guard. Why didn’t somebody tell them Mr. President? That’s how they get the drugs

on the boats

well, we don’t need the Coast Guard. Well, JAWS say no.

Oh, surely that’ll work. Is that general Noriega bring in 30 million tons of cocaine into the country? Nope.

We don’t have the money to stop the drugs from coming in age research. We don’t have the money illiteracy, the money, education, the money poverty, the money, the homeless, the money, the elderly, the money, Star Wars. We got a few bucks. We always have money for the Russians, these people should move here. But if we don’t take care of AIDS, illiteracy, education, poverty, the elderly, the homeless, things that actually matter in our own country. We don’t need Star Wars. It is nobody is going to attack us. Well think about it, who’s going to invade a leper colony full of homeless or illiterate poor people.

I was reading two weeks ago that between Ronald Reagan and George Bush they still can’t remember between the both of them whether or not they were involved in the arms sale to Iran. With all due respect to the presidency, Mr. Bush as a little tip in the future. If you sell guns to people that take Americans hostage, jot it

thank you very much.

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